Sara (back2me) wrote in mondayconfess,

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Apparently I've forgotten that I don't smoke.

Saturday night before bed, I got a really strong craving for a cigarette. So...I went out on my balcony, smoked a cigarette, stared at the lights reflecting off the pool, and just thought about everything/nothing. It felt nice. Very relaxing.

Sunday night, just before bed, the same thing happened. Didn't think anything of it.

Tonight, the craving hit me again. Instead of going out on the balcony for a smoke, I went out on the balcony and had a popsicle. It didn't feel nearly as good.

While I don't consider myself a smoker, I've been known to demand cigarettes when I'm really drunk or really upset. The fact that I'm craving it when I'm feeling neither of those is a bit troubling. It's not that big of a deal. I just see the beginning of a bad trend for me, and I want to stop it early.
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